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    社交场合脱身技巧

    作者:2615111 浏览数: 关键词: 脱身 社交 场合

      

      Escape a dull coversation 结束无聊的谈话

      At a cocktail2 party (assuming you havent made the mistake of sitting down with the person), its fine to excuse yourself to get a drink or food, help the hostess, or make a phone call. (If you did sit down, employ the same tactics. Its just a little more awkward having to get up.) To avoid an embarrassing getaway gotcha, be sure to follow through on your excuse that is, get the drink, help the hostess, make a call.

      在鸡尾酒会上(假设你还没傻傻地和一个无聊的人一块坐下),如果想抽身,就托辞去拿饮料或食物、帮助女主人或打电话(如果你坐下了,也可以采取同样办法,不过会稍微尴尬一些)。为了不让你在胜利大逃亡中被尴尬地逮住,就一定要说到做到,即:去拿饮料、帮女主人、打电话。

      nother tried-and-true tactic3 Introduce the bore to someone else, excuse yourself, and scram. This way, you avoid leaving the bore stranded4, and he becomes someone elses problem. Who knows They may hit it off.

      有别的切实可行的招数吗你可以把这无聊的人介绍给别人,然后找个借口赶紧撤!这样就避免了被无聊的人缠身,他成了别人的麻烦。可谁知道呢说不定那两人会很投机。

      Escape a telemarketer 逃离电话营销员

      A polite Thanks, Im not interested is your best response to unwanted calls. The caller will probably come back with a benefit statement or a probing question such as Are you aware this will cut your insurance bill in half says Kimberly King, president of InterWeave Corporation, a customer-service consulting firm in Tampa. Again, thank the person and hang up. Dont let her rattle6 on, which is a waste of your time and hers. And never explain or volunteer anything. Telemarketers work from a script with responses to common customer objections (called soft nos in the industry). Saying another family member needs to make the decision will only lead to more questions: What time will he be in Can I call back then Finally, ask to be taken off the calling list, and wait for the telemarketer to do it before you hang up. That extra minute is worth it.

      一句客气的谢谢,我不感兴趣是给烦人电话的最好答复。打电话的人大概又会说他/她将给你带来什么样的好处,或者问你这样的问题,比如Kimberly King会问:你知道吗,这能让你的保险帐单费减半。 Kimberly KingInter是Weave Corporation的总裁,这是一家位于坦帕市的客服咨询公司。你继续说谢谢,然后就挂断电话。别由她叽里呱啦说个不停,浪费你俩的时间。不要做任何解释或自愿做任何事情。电话营销员都采用一个脚本来对付客户通常做出的拒绝(行话叫软拒绝)。如果你回答道:这要由家人做决定。那他/她就会穷追不舍,提出更多问题:他什么时候会在家里 到时候我再打电话好吗最后,只好要求他/她把你的号码从呼叫单上撤除,并且要求对方撤除后你再挂电话。多花点时间是值得的。

      Escape a Stumper 如何对付提难题的人

      How do you say I dont know without sounding, well, dumb Especially in a nerve-racking setting, like a job interview Be direct, says Sue Shellenbarger, a career-advice columnist7 at the Wall Street Journal: Just say, Thats a great question. Id like to think about it and get back to you.

      要怎样说我不知道才能让自己听上去不傻尤其在一个让人紧张的场合,比如工作面试华尔街的职业建议专栏作家Sue Shellenbarger的建议是:坦白。只要说:这个问题很好,我要先考虑一下再回答。

      If you dont have a good answer because you havent been doing your job well, apologize and specify8 when youll get back on the query9; then be sure to do so or youll lose credibility. If putting off the question isnt an option (youre a keynote speaker at an event; youre being interviewed on TV), employ the Ted5 Kennedy strategy, says Anne Fisher, who writes Ask Annie, a career-advice column for CNNMoney. com: Say, Thats a good question, but an even more interesting question is. Then talk about what you do know. Its worked for Kennedy, says Fisher. Hes been elected eight times.

      如果是因为自己的工作一直没做好而找不到一个好的答案,那么就道歉,然后确定何时反馈该问题的结果;然后,一定要说话算话,否则你将会失去信用了。如果不可能推迟回答问题(例如你在演讲或在电视上被采访),Anne Fisher说可以采取Ted Kennedy(肯尼迪总统的弟弟)的策略。Anne Fisher是CNNMoney网站职业建议专栏《问安妮》专栏作家。你可以说这个问题问得很好,但更有趣的是...... 然后就说你知道的。 Fisher说:这个办法帮过Kennedy的忙。他赢得八次议员选举。

      Escape a spat10 with your significant other 如何结束争执

      He started it. Well, maybe you did. Either way, you dont want to talk about it anymore. Do you have to finish what you began No, says David Ransburg, a therapist at the Family Institute at Northwestern University, in Evanston, Illinois. In fact, you shouldnt continue until youre calm. When were in a flooded emotional state, access to the part of the brain where logical thinking resides is inhibited12, and IQ drops noticeably perhaps by as much as 15 points, says Ransburg. This is when we say things we wish we could take back. So call a time-out. Typically, your logic11 will return in about 20 minutes, at which point you can resume the discussion in a productive way.

      刚才是他引发的争吵,嗯,说不定是你。但不管是谁,反正你不想再吵下去了。一定要吵出个究竟才会罢休吗David Ransburg说:不。David Ransburg是伊利诺斯州Evanston市西北大学家庭学院的一名治疗学家。他说,实际上,在你心情平静前,不应该继续说下去。 Ransburg说:争吵时,我们都处于一个头脑发胀的状态,不理智,智商显著下降了大概15个点,这时候说过的话会让我们后悔。所以,先暂停。通常,你的逻辑能力会在大约20分钟后恢复,然后以具有成果性的方式进行讨论。

      If you cant call a time-out midspat, practice with tiny disagreements, suggests Ransburg, when youre both less likely to take things personally。

      如果你不能中场暂停,Ransburg的建议是,人们用细小的争论来练习,因为此时你们两人较不容易感情用事。

      扩展:如何摆脱一个话痨

      Your father-in-law is telling you that story about foiling the pickpocket1 in Moscow -- for the fifth time. Do you let him know youve heard it before and can tell it better than he does If the story is longer than a minute and the two of you are alone, do interrupt to tell him that youve heard and enjoyed that story once before, says Margaret Shepherd, a coauthor of The Art of Civilized2 Conversation. Try: You had everyone in stitches when you told that story last Christmas. No need to add that youve heard the story for the last four Christmases. Segue to a related topic, suggests Shepherd, and if possible, draw in another person to freshen up the conversation.

      你的岳父正给你讲述他在莫斯科挫败扒手的故事-已经能是第五次了。你要告诉他你以前就听过,而且你能比他说得还溜吗如果故事时间超过一分钟,并且在场只有你们两人,那还是打断一下,告诉他你听过一次,也喜欢听这段故事。 这是Margaret Shepherd给人们的建议。Margaret Shepherd是《文明谈话艺术》一书的合著者。你可以试着说:去年您在过圣诞节时讲的时候,大家都笑得合不拢嘴,你就别说这四年来每次圣诞节都听这故事了。Shepherd建议:用一个相关话题顺着接下去,如果可能,再拉一个人过来,增加谈话的内容。

      With older people whose memory may be slipping or when youre in a group, though, it can be cruel to interrupt, says author Letitia Baldrige: Patiently listen and wait for a chance to change the subject. If theyre thrilled to be telling the story, dismissing them too suddenly is like smooshing an ant.

      不过,如果对方年纪比较大,记忆力在减退,或你在一群人中,那么打断就很不礼貌了。这是作家Letitia Baldrige的话。(你要)耐心听,找到一个机会转移话题。如果这样的故事让他们激动,突然打断他们就会像碾死一只蚂蚁一样让人不安。

      How to Escape Being in the Wrong Restaurant 如何逃离错餐馆

      Youve been seated, theyve given you water and bread, and you decide because the place is a bit grimy or too expensive, or nothing on its menu is appealing that you want to leave. Can you just get up and go My policy is never to settle when it comes to food, says Danyelle Freeman, a restaurant reviewer for New Yorks Daily News and the founder3 of the website Restaurantgirl.com. If you feel like youve made a bad choice, cut your losses and quietly exit. If the restaurant has already put water and bread on the table, theyve technically4 begun service, so you should perhaps leave a small tip.

      If your server catches you on the way out, Freeman says, graciously thank the person and briefly5 explain that youre looking for something lighter6, more casual, or whatever else the restaurant isnt. Dont linger making excuses. At the end of the day, says Freeman, its your money.

      你已经座了下来。有人给你上水和面包,然后因为这个地方有点不太干净或价格太贵,或者菜单上没什么能让你感兴趣于是,你决定离开。能站起来就走吗Danyelle Freeman说:我的原则是,吃绝不能将就。 Danyelle Freeman是纽约日报新闻的一位餐馆评论员及网站Restaurantgirl.com的创办者。 如果觉得进错了地方,就及时打住,安静地离开。如果餐馆人员已经上了水和面包,那么,严格地说,就已经开始对你服务了,所以你应该留一笔小数目的小费。

      Freeman 说,如果在离开的时候被服务员发现,那么礼貌地谢谢那个人,简短说自己想去一个更明亮、更随意,或者任何和这家不同的地方。不要逗留在原处找借口,再怎么说,钱到底怎么花,还是你自己说了算。 Freeman说。

      How to Escape a Sermon 如果逃避一位说教者

      You may escape fasterand avoid future rants7 if you take a moment to hear the person out, says author Margaret Shepherd: Dont debunk8 their beliefs, tease, ignore, argue, scoff9, or demean. Theyll just try harder to convince you. Let the person spew for a couple of minutes before you introduce a neutral subject or make your exit.

      Offensive rantsracist, misogynist10, or obscene are an exception. In those cases, cut the speaker off as soon as possible with a simple Excuse me Ive got to go. If the sermon takes place at work and other people are present, enlist11 their help. They probably dont want to hear it either, says author Anne Fisher. After listening to the lecturer for a minute or two, say, Its interesting you feel so strongly about that, Joe. Hey, Sally, what did you think about the sales meeting last week Unless the person is a total bonehead, says author Anne Fisher, he or she will take the hint.

      如果你耐心听完这人的话,也许反而能更快地脱离,还能避免更多的唠叨。这是Margaret Shepherd的话。别揭穿他们的信仰,别去嘲笑、忽视、争辩、不敬或贬低。那样只会让他们更努力地去说服你。让那人说上几分钟,然后表达你中性的话题,或者是离开。

      那些带有进攻性的长篇大论的人种族主义者,厌恶女人的人,猥亵的人则是例外。这时候,用最简单的话劳驾,我要走了来终止谈话。如果这种说教发生在办公场所,在场有其他人,那么请求他人帮助。他们可能也不愿听, 作家Anne Fisher说。在听了一两分钟之后,你可以说:真有趣,你对这感觉这么强烈。张三,李四,王二,你们对上周的销售会议怎么看 除非那人是一个彻底的榆木脑袋,不然肯定会知趣。

      How to Escape an Inebriated12 Coworker 如何逃离一位醉酒后的同事

      An after-work drink with the new assistant sounded like fun, but three drinks later she is anything but. Can you ditch her No, says author Anne Fisher. Leaving a drunk to fend13 for herself could be dangerous, especially if he or she is planning to drive. You must either pour this person into a taxicab or drive him or her home. Use any excuse youd like to call it a night. (I have so much to get ready for tomorrow. Ive got to feed the dog. My mother phones me at 11 pm and I have to be home for her call.)

      To mitigate14 any morning-after awkwardness with someone youll continue to see, shrug15 off her own comments about being embarrassed (dont rub it in) and extend an occasional lunch invitation, says Fisher. Make sure you go someplace that doesnt serve anything stronger than iced tea. And remember: Lots of people are instant idiots (just add alcohol) but fine company when sober.

      和新来的助手下班后一起喝酒听上去很不错,但是酒过三巡后,她形象尽失。能丢下她不管吗 不可以, 作家Anne Fisher说,让喝醉了酒的人去照顾自己是危险的做法,尤其当他/她还打算开车的话。你可以将此人扶入一辆出租车,或开车送他/她回家。 你可以随便找一个理由来打住(还要为明天做很多准备,我家有狗要喂,我母亲晚上11点会给我打电话,我要回去接电话)。

      为了减少第二天早上和还要见面的那个人之间的尴尬,对她说自己感觉窘迫的话一带而过(别反而去提醒她),然后,邀请她有时间去吃一顿午饭。一定要注意你们去的地方最多只供应冰茶。还要记住:很多人都是速溶白痴(只要溶一些酒精就变白痴),但在他们清醒的时候,仍是一位不错的同伴。

      How to Escape a Run-In with a Long-Lost Pal 如何逃离和多年不见的老友的相遇

      If you barely have enough time for the friends you have now, be wary16 of taking on someone you havent missed that much and nip this encounter in the bud nicely, of course. During the initial meeting, show some enthusiasm Great to see you! but dont overdo17 it. Dont even vaguely18 suggest having lunch if your gut19 feeling is Get me out of here, says author Margaret Shepherd.

      If the person insists on a date and keeps calling or e-mailing to follow up, Shepherd suggests spelling out the terms you can live with: location (close to you), duration (short), purpose (Is it strictly20 personal, or is there a business motive21). Also, be direct about anything you dont want to discuss. (Id love to catch up on what youre doing, but if were going to talk about that horrible personnel manager one more time, lets call it off.) Meet with the person once, and keep in mind that you dont have to see him or her again if your opinion hasnt changed.

      如果你的时间刚好只能贡献给你现在的朋友,在重逢那些交情浅的朋友时要小心,把这样的巧遇要扼杀在摇篮里当然,是友善地。最初见面时,表现出一些热心:见到你真好!但别过度。如果你心里想着我想走,那么也不要表现出丝毫要邀请此人共进午餐的迹象,作家Margaret Shepherd说。

      如果那人坚持要再见面,且再不断给你打电话或发电子邮件,Shepherd的建议是:把你的条件一一说明白:地点(离你家近),时间(短),目的(单单涉及个人,还是另有商业企图)。同样,直接说出你不愿意交谈的内容(我是想和你联络感情,可如果还要去谈论那个鬼人事经理的话,那就算了)去和这人见一次面。记住,除非你改变主意,否则就不要再去见他/她了。

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